Understanding Love, Part 6/7C

Translate/ Terjemahan: Indonesia

To love means to ground ourselves in our promise

Love (in an obsessive sense) is not something that can definitely hold a couple together, however, a promise is. Despite a harsh life we have gone through, we can still carry on with life if we put our hope in a promise shared with our loved one. Fulfilling a promise will also boost confidence of the other to love us. However, to betray that promise, a relationship will be ruined and give a lifetime scar to our loved one.

The playwright Thornton Wilder quoted by Ravi in his book, said:

“I didn’t marry you because you are perfect. I didn’t even marry you because I loved you. I married you because you give me a promise. That promise made up for your faults. And the promise I gave you made up for mine. Two imperfect people got married and it was the promise that made the marriage. And when our children were growing up, it wasn’t a house that protected them; and it wasn’t our love that protected them ------ It was that promise.

(Zachariah, R. 2004, p. 45)

Keeping up with a promise is not an easy task but a tedious commission. We will eventually going through temptations emotionally. Many people claim to love their wife and their families. But they still commit adultery; dwelling in pornography; burn in lust and passion for another woman; they betray their wife, break the very vow that they once made. They blame it on their own desire --- by claiming that the temptation is to strong for them to endure--- or blame it on their spouse by saying they don’t feel love any more. Thus, “Feeling” become a dominant factor in their decision and action.

What are the things that make us keeping up with our promise?

Choice, “An Act of Will”, and Honouring our spouse

Choice and “act of will” are essential in fulfilling our promise to love somebody. A promise can be end up empty when we made a choice without exercising our “will”. Thus, a careful thought needs to be made when a promise (to love) is being made. We needed to avoid making a vow/promise due to our surge of emotions. However, a promise needs to be grounded on our “act of will” (rationally). Thus we have planted our promise on the solid rock --- the firm foundation.

After all, a true love is a love that is deeply rooted on our choice to love someone and our commitment to make that love possible.

Cont. to Part 6D